Is It All Women?
by les4love
Summary: When beauty, grace, and love awaken a hidden part of a woman, she has to wonder if all women can make her feel so alive or if only one woman is responsible? How do you explore the soul with a hidden heart?
1. This is a Gay Bar

_This is a gay bar! They invited me to a gay bar! Why would they do that? Do I look like a lesbian to them? Do I look like the type to want to hang out around nothing but lesbians and gay guys? I mean…What the hell!_ She looked around her, clearly nervous about the large number of rainbow paraphernalia, men in extremely feminine clothing (to include dresses and high heels), women with hair so short and chests bound so that she had to look twice to distinguish male from female. _If they had told me this…I never would have come out tonight. This was supposed to be just a girls' night, something relaxed and quiet. I was invited to help me "wind down," how the hell is _this_ going to help me wind down? _She continued to look around her, growing more and more desperate to find the group of treacherous women who had tossed her into this situation. _I can't stay here tonight, I just have to find them, make up some excuse and leave. I'll tell them that I have a headache - possibly a flu. Maybe even an emergency. A family emergency, they can't possibly say no to that. _

She finally caught the back of Alex's head of long, blonde hair getting into a booth with a handful of shots at the far left of the bar. She immediately headed straight for the group, keeping her limbs close to her body in an effort not to be forced to talk to anyone due to an accidental bump or touch. She walked quickly, and just as she reached the booth, Alex stood up and turned her way, causing a hard collision of their bodies. Chest to chest, Alex gently held her back by her shoulders to look her up and down to make sure she was okay. "I'm glad you came! For a second I thought you were blowing me off!"

Guilt instantly flooded her, but the hum of a gay bar around her reminded her of the urgent need to leave. "Actually, Alex, I can't stay. I-"

"No! Don't go! I know this new and uncomfortable but I know you'll have fun if you stay."

"Alex," she tried to force a carefree smile but she knew it didn't look right, "I have a family emergency. Don't worry. I just stopped in to let you know."

Alex pursed her lips and set her hands on her hips, "Bullshit." Alex didn't seem phased by the shocked expression that met her look of determination and continued to call her out on the lie, "If you had a family emergency you would not have come to tell me that, you would have called. Do not forget that I have known you for years." Alex took her hand and steered her towards the booth, "Now, sit your ass down, smile, have fun. Stop being such a tight-ass and just _relax_."

She sat down and took a moment to rub her temples, before looking up to see Kathy's smile across the table. "Kathy…how are you?"

Kathy's smile was radiant, obviously enjoying her rigid discomfort. "I'm great, how are you Olivia?"

She looked around her again and sighed, "Why did you guys choose this place for a girls' night?"

Kathy laughed and shook her head, "The drag show is fun and it's always nice to be able to let loose and be…me for a little while before I go home to my family. I think this is a relaxing place, a place with enough energy that when you get home you're tired enough to just sleep and the thoughts don't overwhelm your thoughts, so that the stress doesn't invade your dreams."

Olivia frowned at her, "What does that mean? Be you for a little while?"

Kathy looked away, her smile faltering just a bit as she considered how she was going to answer the question. "I love Elliot, I love my kids and my home and my marriage, I love my life. But there is a major part of me that has always been suppressed by my religion, my faith. Just hanging out around here, watching the drag show, seeing the women who love one another so freely, lets me feel like I don't have to hide my desires and my needs for just a little while. I come to these places so that I can blow off some steam, explore my desires just a bit, and when I go home I can forget for a while and be content with the life that was chosen for me."

"Kathy," Olivia leaned in close to her, "Are you telling me that you're a lesbian?"

She grinned and put a finger to her lips, "We don't put labels on it here, Liv. Tonight, we are just women, no titles or labels, no judgment. And what happens here will stay here, the primary rule is that we _do not talk about these nights with anyone_. Can I trust you with this? If not, then you need to leave."

Olivia's eyes widened and she shook her head, "It stays here. I don't want to cause issues."

Kathy smiled at her and visibly relaxed, "Thank you. Have some fun, the show is about to start."

Olivia watched the show and the audience, all of it blending in a blur of glitter, bright colors, and loud noises. She had fun, the drag queens were entertaining and the crowd was energetic. The group of women that she found herself with made sure there were always drinks on the table, they flirted and teased one another, and they treated Olivia gently without making her feel like an outsider. But Olivia was still timid, clinging to Kathy and Alex as she was nervous to talk to anyone else. How could she talk to anyone when she had no idea of their intentions, their interests, or their assumptions? It just wasn't safe. Nonetheless, she stayed until the end of the night; the show ended at one a.m. and the shots continued to make their way to the table until two when the bar closed. Although she was uncomfortable and out of place, Olivia wasn't ready to go home when they were asked to leave.

The night out was uplifting, relaxing, Olivia realized that she needed more time away from her tiny apartment or risk isolating herself completely. The night was a gift, allowing her to make a few friends and pull some old friends closer. So when Kathy offered to walk the eight blocks back to Olivia's house with her and call a cab from there, Olivia didn't hesitate to accept. Olivia had never noticed how blue Kathy's eyes were until the cloud of vodka hung over her vision; she had never wondered at how soft Kathy's skin was or how her hair smelled, but the night breeze made her thoughts wander down what she knew was a dangerous path; she had never felt a physical attraction to a woman, but the entirety of the night left her curious and dazed. Olivia was intensely aware of the closeness of their bodies as they walked down the street, she could feel Kathy's presence behind her as she climbed the stairs to her fourth story apartment, and she could feel Kathy watching her as she struggled to get the key in the door so that they could go inside. The alcohol caused a disconnection in her hands and her mind, making it impossible to get the door open. But Kathy was practically sober, she gently took the key from Olivia and slid it into the door effortlessly, grinning at Olivia as she opened the door and ushered her inside.

As promised, Kathy called a cab while Olivia took off her shoes and jewelry. She listed to Kathy giving the address, wishing that she hadn't called quite so quickly. "Kathy…" She held up a finger to Olivia as she listened to the voice on the other end of the phone, but Olivia wasn't ready to be quiet. The alcohol was taking over her speech, forcing words that she never would have said, even to herself. "I'm lonely, I don't want you to leave." Kathy hung up the phone and smiled at Olivia.

"I have to go home to Elliot and the kids, but I do wish I could stay."

Olivia touched Kathy's hand with hers, "You're so beautiful and funny and -" Kathy's lips came down on Olivia's, smothering the words with warmth and moisture that was tantalizingly sweet. Olivia's hands moved to Kathy's shoulders, fingertips lightly touching her collarbone, jawline, anything that she could reach with how Kathy was holding her into one place. To Olivia's dismay, just as suddenly as she began, Kathy stopped.

She took a deep breath, moistened her lips and stroked Olivia's cheek with a light finger. "I have to go, my cab should be here." Olivia opened her mouth to protest but Kathy stopped her, "Trust me, I want to. But this isn't the right time. You've had so much to drink and we've never talked about this. I'll text you in the morning; we should meet for lunch tomorrow to talk about this. You need to think without the cloud of alcohol that could be affecting your judgment." Olivia nodded and sighed, Kathy leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. Then she disappeared out the front door, leaving Olivia alone.

_What the hell just happened? I can't believe she kissed me…I can't believe I liked it. I just wish she hadn't left, I wish I could have done more, felt more, seen more. I can't believe I've never thought of this part of myself before now, I can't believe I hid it from myself for so long. That kiss…It was so wonderful that I could do it over and over again. I only wish I had done it sooner, all this time I wasted on men that I felt nothing with and only a kiss can spark so much in me? _Olivia sighed and threw herself down on the couch, flicking the TV on then tossing the remote to the recliner across the room. _I have to have lunch with her, I have to figure out how much more of this I can have, how much more I want. But…is it just Kathy? Do I only feel this way for her, or am I attracted to all women? How am I supposed to figure this out so quickly? And what if it is all women? Worse, what if it is just Kathy?_


	2. 1805

"Liv, can I talk to you?"

Olivia snapped her head up to look at Elliot, she nodded slowly as fear and guilt flooded her mind. _Does he know what we did? Would Kathy have told him? I can't believe this, I have no idea how open their relationship is and how much they tell one another. He hasn't ever talked to me about Kathy or what she does. Is that what this is about?_ "Olivia, are you listening to me?" She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at Elliot.

"What? I'm sorry - I'm just a bit distracted. What's up?"

"Did you call Marianna Powell last night?" Olivia shook her head, lost in dumbfounded relief, "She's in Cragen's office, crying about some woman calling her and telling her that there was no point in pressing charges because she has a promiscuous past and isn't reliable. Apparently the caller said she was a detective at our unit but didn't give a name."

"No, I haven't talked to her since we saw her at her apartment three days ago. And you know I would never tell a victim not to press charges. Does Cragen think that I was the one that called her?"

Elliot shook his head and sighed, "No, but I wanted to make sure that you didn't know anything about it. You've been pretty off lately so I wanted to make sure that you weren't doing anything stupid."

Olivia tried to laugh and shook her head, "I'm just stressed out. It seems like every day we get one more case than we got the day before. Like it's just getting worse and worse out in the world. Like every little bit of good we do is overshadowed by some other person coming and doing something ten times worse than the last guy."

"I know, but we are doing everything we can to make a difference and we have to keep doing it. No one told us that this job would be easy, so we have to just stick through it and figure out what we have to do to make this city a safer place." He smiled at her and gave her a light shove, "I shouldn't be giving you pep talks; that is your job when I get pissed off at some perv."

She grinned at him, remembering why she was comfortable with him as her partner. He always knew what to say to make her feel better, to make her feel like she was important. She sighed and followed him to Cragen's office, they would have to spend the next half hour calming and assuring a scared and confused woman that what she was doing was the right thing. Her talent for handling victims was always something that set her apart in the unit, but it had been seriously tested the few weeks before as she had experienced some of the most difficult victims that she had dealt with over her career. But, no matter how fully she immersed herself in her work, she couldn't get Kathy out of her head. She couldn't stop imagining her lips, practically feeling them on her own mouth; she couldn't stop hearing Kathy's breath in her head, quick and flustered as she walked out the door; the memories were haunting and so realistic that they seemed to invade every moment of her day to day life. Olivia knew she had to do something, but she couldn't figure out what. If she didn't find a way to get Kathy out of her head, she wouldn't be able to effectively do her job.

Olivia slipped to the side and discreetly pulled her phone out as Elliot and Cragen talked to Marianne. At this moment she was thankful that Elliot made sure that she had Kathy's number in case of an emergency or in case he needed help with something.

We need to talk. Soon. Alone. Let me know a time and place and I'll make sure I get there. -O.

Olivia turned to the table, her phone still in her hand so that she could silence it when she received the response from Kathy. She knew better than to expect an immediate response but the anticipation of waiting for the answer distracted her even more than the thoughts of the night before. When her phone rang with a text message, a flood of adrenaline rushed through her body and Olivia looked down quickly, far too eagerly.

Six p.m. at the Hilton, meet me in the bar. We can talk about anything you want. -K.

A sense of relief washed over Olivia, the promise of getting all of it on the table was far more appealing than she had expected, and the excitement of seeing Kathy again was almost too much to handle. It proved to be a significant distraction throughout the day, keeping her focus away from her cases on Kathy, forcing her to ask people to repeat themselves constantly, keeping her mind so preoccupied that Cragen told her to go home at five rather than stay and work with Elliot and the other detectives. He figured she was exhausted, it never occurred to anyone that she could simply be so distracted that it was impossible to do her job.

She left the squad room the second Cragen sent her home, perfect timing to get to the Hilton by six with end of day traffic and the generally slow commute times in the city. Every inch nearer made her heart beat faster, her nerves were wrapped into tight bundles of anxious anticipation. And her breath nearly stopped when she walked into the bar to see Kathy sitting, waiting with a glass of wine and a beer.

She walked to the table and noticed Kathy watching her, silently, not moving a muscle. Olivia could tell that Kathy was just as anxious as she was, waiting on Olivia to start the conversation and set the tone for the evening. She wondered if Kathy had ever done this before, if she had been with women while married to Elliot, she wondered if Elliot even knew about her interest in women.

Olivia sat down, took a sip of the beer Kathy had ordered for her and looked to Kathy before she began the conversation that she knew she had to have with Kathy. She took a deep breath and forced her mind to start the words. "Kathy… I - I don't even know what to say. What is this? What are we doing?"

Kathy smiled at her, a gentle expression that was immediately comforting to Olivia's anxious mind, quelling the butterflies in her stomach. "It depends, Olivia, there are a lot of details that need to be discussed before we are doing anything. As of right now, we are two friends, out for a drink, looking to have a talk that could end up being nothing." She took a sip of her wine and looked down at her lap for a moment. "Do you have questions that you want to ask me?"

Olivia nodded, but she had to sit and think for a moment before she could ask anything, her mind was running so fast that she could not immediately think of just one question. Despite the nervousness that flooded her, Olivia knew that she would have to just ask the questions, tip-toeing around them wouldn't do anyone any good. "Are you a lesbian?" Kathy smiled at her and nodded, but Olivia didn't wait for her to answer verbally before spitting out her next question. "Does Elliot know that you are attracted to women?"

Kathy nodded again and took a deep breath. "He knows, we have talked about it and I've been very honest with him. I didn't know that I am gay until years after we got married, after Kathleen was born. We talked about it, over and over again, it was a difficult point in our marriage. But we decided that we weren't going to get a divorce, it just wouldn't be good for the kids. And I'm catholic, you can't be a gay catholic, it just doesn't work that way. So he and I agreed that I wouldn't let the kids find out, that I would pursue my interests discreetly and he could pursue other women discreetly, and we would stay married and have more kids until we were happy with the size of the family."

"Do you love him?"

Kathy laughed, "Of course I do, he was my first love, but the love I have for women is different. It isn't comparable and he knows that. I love being married to him, I love our kids and the family that we are. But no matter how happy I am with my life, there is something different with women that I am attracted to, that I enjoy, and Elliot understands that and is willing to let me explore it. The only rule is that we are always honest and open with one another."

"So will you tell him about me?"

"I already told him about our kiss, I told him about our meeting, and he has known for years that I am attracted to you, that I have feelings for you. I just have never known your preferences so I never planned on saying anything." Kathy looked at her for a moment, her blue eyes seeming to look right through Olivia, causing her to shift slightly under her gaze. "What are your preferences, Olivia?"

Olivia shrugged, "I don't really know, I have never found a man that I am completely comfortable with, I have always had curiosities about women, but I have never explored them."

"Do you want to explore the curiosities?"

Olivia stared at Kathy, desperately trying to put her thoughts together so that she could decide what she actually wanted. "What if I change my mind?"

Kathy smiled at her and shrugged, "Then everything stopped and we go back to normal, like it never happened. It never has to leave the three of us if you decide that you are not attracted to women and you don't want to pursue anything more with me."

"I think - I mean I am…curious about you, right now I want to explore you, not all women." Olivia blinked rapidly, as if she could blink her thoughts back into order, "I don't think I'm gay, but I am attracted to you. Right now I only know that I am attracted to you, and that is what I want to explore. Not my feelings for women, but my feelings for you."

Kathy gave her a kind, understanding smile, and laid her hand over Olivia's. "I don't want you to look into other women, I don't want you to work out feelings for other women. I want you to have feelings for me, to know if you want _me_."

"How would it work?" Kathy frowned and Olivia realized that she hadn't been clear about her question, "I mean, you being married, how would a relationship between the two of us works? Would we go on dates, would you spend nights with me? Or would we hide every single thing about the two of us and only be together in my apartment or motel rooms?"

Kathy laughed, obviously entertained by Olivia's question. "Elliot would know about us, so we wouldn't have to hide. Although it can't happen all the time because I have kids, I would be able to spend nights with you. But, frankly, you and Elliot have crazy schedules and I can't imagine you would be able to actually make plans for things like that. I fully expect to have plans change all the time because of cases, calls, trials, all the same stuff that Elliot goes through."

"Will Elliot be upset?"

Kathy shook her head, "No, in fact he told me to take a chance with you. I was texting him as I took you home, I never would have tried anything had he not told me to. I can ask him not to discuss it with you if you aren't comfortable, I can even ask him to just pretend he doesn't know. But we have done this before, I promise it isn't that strange. You remember Dani Beck, right? She and I were together briefly and the two of them were good friends. It didn't affect their partnership at all." Kathy stopped, her smile fading for a moment, "It did hurt a lot when she disappeared though, she didn't even say anything to me."

Olivia was shocked, Elliot had never told her anything in detail about Dani Beck, she assumed that he hadn't wanted to hurt her feelings or seem like he was rubbing another partner in her face. She was positive that Elliot and Dani had been in some kind of relationship, as he and Kathy had been separated for a brief period during his partnership with Dani. "Well, I don't plan on disappearing, but I would like to be assured that if you and I don't work out, if we aren't compatible or if I just can't be with a woman, that our friendship won't be ruined."

"Of course," Kathy smiled at her and leaned in closer, "I would never let something like that stop us from being friends, I'm walking into this knowing that you aren't sure if you like women or not. I don't expect anything other than honesty from you. Just as I hope that you don't expect much more than honesty from me."

Olivia nodded, "Honesty I can give. And I don't expect much more from you than that, you're a married woman, a catholic, I understand why you want to stay with Elliot. And I don't fault you for that at all. Elliot is a wonderful man, honestly he is the comparison when I go on dates with new men, and no one seems to compare."

Kathy laughed at her comment, a beautiful, joyous sound that lifted Olivia's heart and seemed to fill her mind with thoughts that could only be explained as bubbles. "I understand, I don't know if anyone could compare to Elliot, he is certainly a prize. I wish that I could love him as a wife should love her husband, but he and I are honest people and we know that we would rather be living this way than be lying to one another."

Olivia nodded, but she wasn't done with the overwhelming thoughts yet. She felt crazy because she had been thinking of questions all day, but suddenly none of them seemed to matter enough to be brought up. Olivia was simply enjoying the conversation between the two of them, rather than thinking of all the crazy things that she was sure would cloud her head during their conversation. Despite knowing that as soon as they left one another she would have a million more questions, Olivia could only focus on wanting to go somewhere more private. Somewhere that she could explore the more physical side of her attraction to Kathy. She took a deep breath and swallowed the pride and anxiety swelling within her, "Kathy?"

"Yes, Liv?"

"Do you want to go back to my place?"

Kathy smiled at her, a bright, thrilling smile that suited the eager nod perfectly. "I was waiting for you to ask me that question. But it would take at least a half hour to get there, I have a much more…speedy solution." Olivia raised her eyebrows in question, and Kathy's smile turned to a mischievous grin. She bit her lip and pulled a small white envelope with the number 1805 written on it. Kathy slid it across the table and stood up, she leaned down and whispered in Olivia's ear, letting her lips brush against Olivia's skin, "18th floor. Take your time, I'll be waiting."

Kathy walked away, leaving Olivia to sit at the table in the bar, watching her hips as she walked away. _Kathy planned this, she knew I would want to be alone with her… But what if she goes home and tells Elliot? What if they share details about what they do and who they do it with? What if I get into this and halfway through I decide I can't do it, or don't want to do it? I would be a horrible person to make her think that I am going to get into some sort of a relationship with her and then I just bail, just like Dani did…_

Olivia stood up slowly and took a deep breath. She knew that she had to go to the 18th floor, she had to see if this was something that she actually wanted. She walked slowly to the elevator, every step felt like an initiation into a world that she didn't know. Her hand moved far too slowly for her own comfort as she pressed the button to open the elevator, and then much too quickly when she pressed the button for the 18th floor. She couldn't control the emotions, the thoughts, and the speed of her own body as she headed to the room on the card envelope. The elevator couldn't move fast enough; it seemed to move so incredibly slowly and the hum was one of the loudest things she had heard all night, amplifying the suspense in waiting.

When the doors opened, the ping of the elevator ringing in Olivia's ears, she stepped out onto the carpet and turned to the left, to see the door to Kathy's room only two away from her. She realized she was holding her breath, forced herself to let it out and took the ten steps between her and the door; the door that separated her and Kathy. She slipped the key out of the envelope, slipped it into the door, and slipped inside quietly. The lights were on but dimmed, Olivia could see the white bedspread that draped over the king bed, and then she could immediately make out Kathy's figure in the shadowed side of the bed. Olivia stepped further into the room and Kathy stood, allowing Olivia to see her in the golden light of the single lamp that bathed the front half of the hotel room.

Olivia's breath caught in her chest as she gazed at Kathy; her pale skin practically glowing in the sultry light, the white and pink lace teddy clinging to her curves and draping over her hips seductively, her long blonde hair was let down free to cascade over her shoulders, drawing attention to her collar bone and the tops of her breasts. She slowly walked to Olivia, watching as she surveyed every movement and how the lace played peek-a-boo with her gorgeous waistline. She stopped in arms reach, waiting for Olivia to make the decision to take the final step to Kathy, or to change her mind and leave. Kathy knew that it was crucial that she didn't push Olivia, she couldn't let her feel pressured, she couldn't make her feel like the relationship that they were about to enter into was not her choice with no other influences. She watched Olivia's chest rise and fall with her heavy breaths, she watched as Olivia's hand moved toward her but then stopped. "Liv," she whispered, "You don't have to do this."

Olivia looked at Kathy, her eyes seemed dark with primal attraction, "Do you want me…like this?"

"I'm very attracted to you, and I would like nothing more than to be the first woman to touch you sexually, to please you, to show you how amazing it can be. But I don't want to push you into this. I want you to do this because _you want to_. Not because I want you."

Without another word Olivia closed the gap between them and brought her mouth to Kathy's. She wrapped a hand in Kathy's hair and wrapped the other behind her back, pulling Kathy's soft body close to her, pressing their bodies together. The lace that pressed between Kathy's back and Olivia's hand was tantalizing, practically begging Olivia to touch the skin that was readily available to her rather than keeping her hands in the safe zones. Olivia gently brought her hand from Kathy's hair to her shoulder, tracing her fingers along her collar bone, dragging it down her chest and over the sensual globe of her breast. Kathy moaned against Olivia's mouth and pushed her jacket off of her shoulders, forcing Olivia to take her hands away from Kathy's body for a moment. She took the opportunity to pull Olivia's tee shirt over her head, leaving her in a black lace bra and her jeans. Olivia set her lips to Kathy's neck, tasting the sweet skin, feeling the hum of every noise Kathy made through the skin. Her kisses traveled from her neck to her chest, Olivia pushed her gently backwards until her knees touched the bed and Olivia could push her down onto the plush mattress. Kathy dragged her fingers through Olivia's hair, impatiently waiting as Olivia kissed down her body, over every curve and touching every freckle. Her hands ran up and down Kathy's body, bringing butterflies to every point that she touched. Kathy's breath quickened, growing more and more shallow with every touch of her lips, every brush of her fingers; her impatience grew with her arousal. It finally became too much for her, she wrapped her hands in Olivia's hair and pulled her up to her face, bringing their lips back together as her hands flew to Olivia's pants. She unbuttoned them and pushed them down until Olivia kicked them off and revealed the matching black boyshorts that Kathy had been waiting to see. Kathy rolled over, bringing Olivia's body under hers so that she could straddle Olivia's hips and assert a little more control over the situation.

Considering that Olivia had not been with a woman before, Kathy was surprised at how easily Olivia teased her; she seemed to be an expert at the female body in terms of bringing pleasure and inspiring a heightened state of arousal. Kathy bit Olivia's chest gently, causing a sharp moan from her beautiful lips. Olivia wrapped her arms around Kathy's waist and forced their bodies against one another; the skin on skin contact was exquisite and exciting, acting like a drug that was instantly addictive and left Olivia wanting so much more. "Kathy…"

Kathy stopped and looked at her, Olivia's eyes were closed and she was panting, still stroking Kathy's back and ass with her arms around her. "What is it?"

Olivia opened her eyes and looked at Kathy, she pressed a small kiss to her lips and smiled. "I want to be on top of you. Lay down, let me explore your body."

Kathy practically melted; she knew that she couldn't say no to a request like that, to an obvious need for Kathy's body. She nodded and crawled off of Olivia, crawling across the bed so that Olivia could lust after her toned backside, then spread her arms slowly in front of her, extending her upper body with her ass still in the air. Before she realized Olivia had moved, Kathy felt her hands on her hips and she froze. Olivia gripped the skin on Kathy's hips, pulling her ass into her own hips like a man fucking her from behind. Kathy moaned, grinding her hips against Olivia's body in anticipation of Olivia's touch. Olivia slid her hand around Kathy's front, down her stomach and over her panties. Kathy took in a sharp breath and moaned as she let the breath of air out. Her sounds, her movement, excited Olivia more, encouraging her to step further out of her comfort zone. Her fingers pulled Kathy's panties to the side and gently traced the edge of her nether lips. Kathy froze, waiting for the touch to get harder, deeper, to bring an even higher level of pleasure. But Olivia didn't, she stroked long enough for Kathy's juices to coat the tip of her finger and then withdrew. Kathy groaned in frustration and Olivia flipped her over to lay on her back.

She grinned a wicked grin at Kathy, causing a slight panic. "What are you thinking, Liv?"

"Do you trust me?" Kathy nodded slowly, "Good, where are your stockings?"

"On the bathroom counter, why?"

Olivia pressed a kiss to her neck and got up, "Do not move." Kathy nodded and watched as Olivia disappeared into the bathroom and then came back with her thigh-high stockings. Olivia climbed back onto the bed and set them next Kathy. She took Kathy's wrists, one in each hand, and extended them up over her head. She quickly wrapped one of them around Kathy's wrists and then threaded it through the cast iron bars in the headboard, she secured the stocking and gave it a sharp tug to ensure that Kathy wouldn't be able to get out of it. "What is this for?" Kathy was breathless, hardly able to speak, exciting Liv even more. "Liv, this isn't fair."

Olivia grinned at her, "I know, but I want to take my time and do this my own way. How am I going to learn if I don't get to figure it out on my own?" Kathy opened her mouth to respond but Olivia quickly crushed her lips to Kathy's. She reached behind Kathy and unclipped the bra that was built into the teddy. She pulled her mouth away and unclipped the straps securing the teddy to Kathy's shoulders then slipped down her body, rendering her almost naked under Olivia's eager hands. Olivia stopped, staring at Kathy's gorgeous body, taking in every curve and every line. Her gaze stopped at Kathy's breasts. They were pale, full, they looked like soft clouds of sexy that Olivia could illicit so much pleasure out of. She leaned over Kathy, letting her breath flow over Kathy's sensitive skin, letting the hot breath wash over her nipples, then blowing a cool breath on them, before covering the nipple with her mouth. She flicked her tongue over the peak of her nipple, enjoying the sounds from Kathy's mouth, the high arching of her back from the careful, calculated movements of her tongue. Her hands ran up and down Kathy's sides, hooking her thumbs into the sides of Kathy's panties and sliding them down to her knees before slipping her fingers back to her hot, wet pussy.

She dipped her fingers inside the crevice, moving gently and slowly as Kathy moved her hips up and down with pleasure. She whispered Olivia's name, begging for more, and Olivia moved her fingers faster. She traced her thumb over Kathy's clit and pushed another finger inside of her, smiling as Kathy became louder with every thrusting motion. She could sense Kathy reaching her peak, and pulled her fingers and mouth away from her. Kathy whimpered, trying to elicit pity, to encourage Olivia to bring her fingers back and bring her more pleasure. Olivia pulled Kathy's panties off of her legs and began kissing her way from Kathy's ankles, her calves, her knees, her thighs, then skipping to her hips.

"Liv, please, I want you so badly. I want you to make me cum, please Liv." Olivia's heart raced, Kathy's voice was so intensely sexy that it was difficult to continue to pace herself. Olivia dragged her tongue, lightly, from her left hip to her right. She nibbled gently on the skin at the crest of Kathy's hip bone, holding her hips down as Kathy tried to move beneath her. She gently spread Kathy's legs, wide and high so that Kathy's pussy was open and receptive when Olivia was ready to bring her mouth to it. She kissed her way down slowly, changing from her lips, to her tongue, to her teeth intermittently. She breathed a hot, long flash of air on Kathy's pussy before bringing her mouth down to it, then covered the lower lips with her mouth. Kathy bucked beneath her, moaning with pleasure, writhing underneath her. Olivia twirled her tongue over Kathy's clit, making circles around the bud of pleasure that was eliciting such a strong response from Kathy. She could feel Kathy's body tensing underneath her, her leg muscles shaking, her body twitching as the pleasure mounted. Her moans got louder, her breaths shorter, more rapid. Olivia could feel her reaching her peak of pleasure.

It was obvious when Kathy came; her breath stopped and a low moan escaped from her lips. Her body shook and her hips raised off the bed as the peak of pleasure took over her body and sent her into a blissful state of release. She clamped her thighs around Olivia's head and panted as her orgasm ebbed away. Olivia didn't stop licking her clit until Kathy was laying, limp and breathless beneath her. She pulled her face away and looked up at Kathy, she ran her hand up Kathy's stomach and rested her head on her hips. Olivia let out a breath and closed her eyes.

_I can't believe I've spent my entire life fighting my attraction to women. How could no one have told me how profound this experience would be? How could I ever go back to men after this?_


	3. Dinner for Three

_I can't believe that I did that. I've thought about it for so long, it's amazing that it was really that simple. I had no idea that Liv really had that much interest in women. I have to tell Elliot, I've never kept a secret from him and this cannot be the one that starts that. I probably should have kept my hands…and mouth… off of his partner. But how could anyone resist Liv? How can Elliot have worked with her all these years and not be interested in her? I wonder if he has had an interest in her, he's so professional that he would never act on it even if he did. So really, how can I assume that he hasn't thought about it? I have to tell him. I just have to. _

Kathy closed her eyes for a moment, thinking of the best way to bring it up to Elliot. He had always been very understanding, accepting, and he never objected to anything that she did. But this was Olivia, they had known her for a decade; she was at the kids' birthdays, she saw promotions, pregnancies, births, fights and talks of divorce, every single thing that they had been through as a family included Olivia. She rolled out of bed and stepped into her house shoes (She silently berated herself on cold mornings for not agreeing with Elliot on carpet in the bedrooms, the hard wood was freezing), the kids were all at school already and she was sure that Elliot was downstairs making coffee.

She turned the corner to the kitchen just as Elliot was turning around after pouring a cup of coffee, he smiled at her and sat at the bar, motioning her to sit beside him. "How was last night?"

She grinned, making it clear that she had been naughty. "It was wonderful."

He nodded, "I figured Liv was into women. I always had a bit of a hunch," he laughed and shrugged.

"Well," Kathy looked down at the cup of coffee that he had set in front of her, "She didn't know before last night. I mean she could not be attracted to women, I haven't heard from her yet."

"Well, do you want me to talk to her?"

Kathy shook her head vigorously, "No, no. I think that would be way too awkward for her. I really don't think she would be okay with that, she seemed awkward enough just knowing that I would tell you about me and her." Kathy reached across the bar for sugar and creamer, she couldn't make eye contact with Elliot for this next question; "El, have you ever thought about you and Olivia? Like -"

"As a couple?" Kathy nodded and he smiled, "Yeah, I have. I would absolutely approach her in that capacity but I doubt it is even an option. Especially if she is a lesbian, as I suspect."

"I don't think she is a lesbian. I think that she is, at the very most, bisexual. In fact, I don't think that she ever even thought of a woman in a sexual way before I made an advance on her." Kathy looked down at the counter and then back up at Elliot. "Do you want to make an advance on her?"

Elliot raised his eyebrows at her. "Are you thinking that you and Liv aren't a thing?"

Kathy shook her head, "No, but…you know…" she shrugged and grinned, "We always talked about the possibility of a relationship with someone who was with both of us, more of a polyamorous relationship rather than just an open one."

"Do you think she has the capacity - the interest to be in that time of relationship with us?"

Kathy shrugged again, "I don't know, but I think that she has the potential. She's smart, open minded, passionate…she has an immense capacity for emotion that I don't see all the time." Kathy poured herself a cup of coffee and began pouring an intense amount of sugar in the black liquid, "But I certainly won't push that. That is up to the two of you; specifically you."

Elliot actually laughed, the thought was comical to him. "Why is that up to me? Am I supposed to just move in and swoop her right out from under you?"

Kathy giggled, "She was definitely not under me."

Elliot shook his head and grinned at her as he walked out of the kitchen, "That's it. I'm going to work. Have a good day."

"Love you!" She yelled down the hall as she heard him getting his coat.

"Suck it up and text her." He hollered back as he closed the door behind her.

Kathy sighed and nodded, he was right. She would have to be the one to text Liv, she was the one who was married, who was pursuing a woman with only a question as to her sexuality, it had to be her that continued to break the ice until Liv was decided as to what she wanted to do. She padded upstairs and picked her phone up off the nightstand, but to her surprise, there was already a text from Liv.

**Last night was amazing. When can I see you again? -Liv**

She smiled and sat down on the bed. She was at a loss as to how to respond; she wasn't sure that normal flirting would work for Liv, she wasn't sure if she should let Liv have space and time to take this extremely slowly, or if she should trust that Liv is going at her own, comfortable pace.

**That depends; what do you want to do when you see me? -K**

Her phone rang almost instantly, Olivia was obviously paying close attention to her phone, eager to have this conversation with Kathy. A**nything, maybe a real date? One that doesn't end in sex? But sex is good too... You tell me. -Liv**

Kathy grinned and started to respond. But then a thought occurred to her; _Elliot will be home tonight, the kids will be at my mom's so they can do tea with her in the morning. It's a Friday night, they aren't scheduled to work the weekend. Maybe this is an opportunity to see if Liv and I can be more than just Liv and I?_

**How about dinner with me at my place? -K**

**Yes. 6 o'clock? -Liv**

**Perfect, the kids are gone, you and El won't have an issue, so it will be fun. I can't wait! -K**

**Sounds wonderful, I'll spend all day waiting. -Liv**


End file.
